tell me, did you fall from a shooting star

 i think i have a new crush. yay!! at 31 yo!

(entry is backdated of course because i'm paranoid like that)

It's been a long, long time since i have a real-life crush, like the one i can talk to, see every day. seriously, when was it? probably that time, about 4 years ago, and he was gay wtf

after the last fling, when he told me that perhaps i just can't love, and i really didn't have a feeling towards any guy afterwards (ok that mco virtual fling for a month didnt count), i have to admit i was a bit worried. the psych thingy kicked in, am i schizoid? am i antisocial? maybe he was right.

so i am excited now, like finally!!! i like this guy yayyy so i am not all the above, afterall.

it's bound to nothing of course, given my 100% failure rate in all my previous relationships, but still i am happy to have this feeling after so long. like, i am normal, people!!! maybe a bit of late bloomer, but normal nevertheless.

ok hopefully this one not gay. he's like borderline gay, but oh well i'm gonna be positive and assume otherwise. tho in all honesty, which fine guy like him can be single, and not gay? 

and this time, i'm gonna play my card like teenagers nowadays. i'm gonna badger him as frequent as i can muahahaha. ppl do this in their 20s, i was like all high and mighty in my 20s and look where i landed huh..the table has turned, my claws are out. he's already my daily lunch buddy, my mobile textbook, my talking atlas and my friend who i can talk about everything, about movies, ppl, houses, finance, tech stuff, and i aim to keep it at least like this if not any closer hahahaha

hmm now that i write this, i just realise damn maybe he already bro-zoned me..argh dont care, i dont care what zone he put me, it's only my side i care. my current crush yay! might as well enjoy this till it lasts, inevitably.

(btw this guy is the perfect crush for everyone, he's helpful, he's useful, he's kind, he talks nicely, he's pleasant to the eyes and bonus: he's tall, so this gushing about him, is not just exclusively from me. just have to state this before you guys got too happy thinking i might actually end up with him (or anyone in fact) haha, which is close to impossible)