I was working just now, but i have to stop when i realized that damned pakciks judd air took away my calculator. you know peeps, i wish somebody had gift me a baseball bat for my last 20th bday, so i can bat that damned pakciks air judd' heads. wth, will buy new calc tomorrow, though i am pretty sure i will complain non-stop about that new calc is not as best as my calc. i have this mentality that NONE OF ELETRONIC DEVICE IN JORDAN IS AS GOOD AND CHEAP AS IN MALAYSIA, and my family agrees with it though they never see it themselves. but well, sometimes i lie to my brother about the phone prices, so they appear to be cheaper, because i want to, well, be in clan and look kakkoi like, waa tempat hang rock gak aaa. whoever says that phones here are cheaper than in msia, well, i don't blame you, you must be the one who looks in zitron for nokia. but well, buying a zitron isnt a crime, at least you can brag to your friend my nokia is made from finland, FINLAND babe! and you don't have to worry about your phone will malfunction, zitron is almost always perfect.
my left foot is hurting again. last year i hurt my right foot, just the exact location as it is right now, but in the different limb. lucky i still have the last year diclofen cream, but it doesnt help much. i feel like going to markas sihi tomorrow, and interrogating the doctor to tell me what exactly this pain is? muscle or joint or nerve? on that matter, i wish i can speak arabic well. maybe i should preparing that dialog now, using that shabby yet dependable google translator.
just now before i decide to write this entry, i wasted my time searching for penthouse for sale in msia. prefereably in penang or selangor. just in case. i'm a spendthrift broke now, but if i have my target house, maybe i will be a lil more determined to save some moolah. why penthouse, well, i enjoy being on the top, savour the scenic night view of the cramped world with traffic jam, skycrapers, and fireworks. the feeling is like, i escape that hustle and bustle yet i still in it comfortably look down on them, for peace. maybe i should pent in jb as well, but jb is so near with s'pore, my dad will hate it. and talking about my dad, i dont think he'll allow me to own a penthouse. his reason: penthouse or condo or apatment or flat, they are all the same. you share your walls with other and you have no real soil. haha, such a cute reason. but still, i fall in love with penthouse, in the first sight and it still lingers aroud. i want a penthouse in a metropolis, and one of the reason is, there will be no centipede in my house because it is far away, vertically from ground.
but logically, there is no way i can own a penthouse. because, after i graduate, i want to stay with my family no matter what. i grew up away from them since i was 13, and i seriously suffer throughout those 7 years and still counting. i know i grew fonder to all of them, especially my sister who i used to hate since she was born until before i flew here (there were countless times i wished she'd die, i even plotted to kill her in my mind), but i missed to watch them grow up. like when the first time i went home in my 1st year, i almost didnt recognize my youngest sister, she almost towered me, and she already wore tudung. i bet she'll really tower me the next time i see her. the point is, i lost my chibi lil La, though she still is the same annoying brat. i want to pinch her cheeks and make her cry, but now, she wont cry. she hit me back painfully. well, i should expect more from her, my brother seems to drag her to a road of a bully.
back to the point, then, if i want to live with my parents, obviously i cant ask them to live away from ground, plus my dad has that acrophobia which aggravates with time. i cant believe him when he told us he's one of those labour who literally build the sogo and well you can imagine those workers, they are awesome. they just stand on a piece of wood at high place, things like that. i asked my uncle about that, and he confirmed it. after seeing his face during in cable cars, you'll swear you wont trust it either. back again, well, if i get married, i dont think a penthouse is the best place to grow my children. they have to play, and i want them to play according to rules of playing i set, which is only applicable on normal ground with greenest grass. so if i have a penthouse, when will i live in it?! yeah one can say it can be my escapade, i can stay in it during holidays, but isnt it too extravagant? i always feel i dont want to raise my children in posh way, but who knows how much i can resist once i really have them. i mean, i can never see my sisters use worn out items, i always end up buying them the new one, though after that they still prefer the wornout. see, that's only my sisters, let alone how will i treat my own chidren. i want to have a period in my life, of which i come back from work(hospital), then relax in the balcony, and enjoy seeing others fighting in jam.priceless.. and only fantasy.
but whatever. who knows, if i never get married, than maybe after that i can own a penthouse. there is possibility that i can never get married..you know, men this time. i am quite fussy, i have never involved in those cheap love, couple things so if i want to marry, i want the man to be like me too, never been in love. and i prefer not to get married if i cant find my match. but still, even if i stay single, i want to adopt a child and then the situation will be like the above, again. i need a ground.
oh talking about love..its not like i never fall in love, if thats the case then i should seek treatment. its just, i fall in love too many times and too easily..like i see this man he wears clothes that is my taste and i fall for him, the next day i forget about him and fall for somebody else.haha its not love, its crush and i have wayyyyyy too many of them. and of course none of them knows, because lots of my crush, they never know about my existence. but still, i love ueda tatsuya. we'll see next month. but sadly, some immature boys made up a rumour that im a lesbo. i thought it was a laughing matter, but it angers my clan. well guys, you deal with it and left me out of it,ya. of course, i dont casually talk with boys, i think they are filthy and yucks. like have they wash their hands? do they really take bath? euuww have they ever wash their sweaters? arggh they sweat a lot..microflora in their moustaches...things like that. well maybe because my brother is one of those who keeps scare me away with gross things like phlegm, chocs/milo that looks like stool, food he ate and tried to vomit back then swallow again, nose-poking etc etc in his teenage years, i have this perception. blame my brother guys. im glad my brother gained some brains in his tweens, he's socially accepted. but in money matter, hahaha i become a pro. i blind myself to see them so i dont judge them. but i dont see them most of the times, thank god the world has gotten better each day with the net.
on the darker side, i gravely flunked my git, i even consider to pull a tiger woods in my other field. what made me sad is, i actually studied for that system, yet i earned that mark. that was the first time i studied that hard, and of course the mark disappoints me. i am not being ungrateful, i am just frustrated that my effort didnt fruit well, and i want to know where are the faults. there are no one to blame but me and only me. cant help but think that my brain isnt what it used to be. i dont know if my mark is considered ok or bad compare to other, because i dont know other's marks and i dont wanna know. it makes me feel stupid if their marks are much higher than me, and it makes me feel its ok with that mark though it actually is not if their marks are lower than me.
ok its long enough and i ramble too much on personal matter. well nobody will read it verbatim, so no worry from my side.
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