I'm so cold I could fit as subzero's wife.
It's a known fact that I am definitely not the nicest person on Earth, I mean well most of the time in my heart, but I am always on guard and I think and judge hard before I act. I can count on my fingers how many people (excluding the 7 members of my family) who had break the ice wall surrounding me. I am not proud of it, in fact I tried hard to act natural, be nice, be graceful, warm and smiley, but it was so tiring and suffocating and awkward and resulted in many many disasters ironically.
First posting housemanship, late 2013-first q of 2014
I was in charge of 10-12 patients alone that day as usual. I came to work around 6am as usual, finished my round, then the MO round, then the specialist round. Settled some urgent ward works then of course I had to go to clinic as usual (daily) despite the many many many other housemen there. Of course, if I didn't go, some MO would call the ward and ask for me personally to be there. By ask, I mean, shout and scream curses why I wasn't there in the first place.
No I didn't eat breakfast that time, I almost never breakfast before work because super early breakfast made me queasy. And after clinic I had to rush to ward to settle my ward works, the bloody debriding/desloughing/complicated dressing/blood works etc, no time for food either. (I lost 10kg in 4 months living like that.)
In that stupid department ran by moronic MOs, they moron required stupid booking form whenever they had to book case to OT. Waste of time, space, papers, inks honestly but morons like them don't see that. The stupid point of that stupid form is that, with that stupid form, they could book the case directly without the need to flip the folder. Their hands were probably too precious to flip the folder I guess, or maybe selective temporary radial/ulnar/median nerve palsy. The form was only 1 page, contained details of patient, underlying problems with their current medications, diagnosis, their planned operation. Basic details that normal functioning competent MO (like me, when I grew up and posted cases everyday in O&G) would know if they do rounds properly and communicate and examine the patients.
Being the slavelike HO, I filled up the form as requested. Then came this woman (MO) and requested the booking form of 1 of my patients to book the case. She wasn't in charge of my cube but she had to book the case because the MO in charge passed the shit to her.
She took it, then she called anest. I wasn't sure what shit she sold to the anest, but the next moment was probably the most humiliating moment in my life. She shouted "who filled up this form?", followed by some bad words which I managed to forget now.
She shouted so loud the whole ward was stunned. I was stunned. Despite my constant disapproving of the way how that moronic department was run, I always did my job properly. I did screw up here and then, but I always own up to them, fix them and never cause any morbidity or such. When she shouted like a banshee in second stage of labour, I became anxious, thinking what did I do wrong?
Turned out that woman was angry because I didn't write that patient was previously on OHA and the types of OHA he was on. By previously, I mean years ago. I didn't write because there was not enough space on that stupid form, and I couldn't see the relevance of it. Until now I couldn't understand why she had to shout like that to me when I technically didn't do anything wrong. Why on earth you want to know the OHA medication history of a diabetic patient who was on insulin for at least the past 2 years when he's currently having diabetic foot requiring surgery? Enlighten me for god sake.
I was shouted at many many times in my career but I could always justify all of them, except this one.
July 2017
I went to Hospimart, then a bunch of nurses from that hellish ward recognised me and greeted me. Then 1 of the nurses introduced me to her friends as the HO who was being shouted at by that woman. WTF right?? I mean, I wasn't stellar in that stupid department of course, I wasn't nice, but I certainly wasn't that bad. I was always the only one who had to round with the HOD, present cases to him, answering his questions (people avoid him for some reasons) because other HOs pretended they were busy and didn't notice him and MOs came later than him. As a first poster with almost zero knowledge in that dept, I took pride in myself with that fact.
Today
That woman came to my office requesting for a pm draft, she had to do the report. Then she greeted me in friendly way. Luckily my friend (we were both HO at the same time in that stupid dept) was with me, so he served that woman. That woman still talked to me somehow, asking whether I'm pregnant because I was at the sink (she thought I was vomiting, nope, just nasal douching). I ignored her. However my friend couldn't find the folder needed so he tried to call record office. I figured that'd mean that woman will stay longer in my office, so I went and searched and got the file needed and gave it to her in less than 5 minutes. I then continued ignoring her, grabbed my phone and ipad and continued reading in the other office.
She obviously had no recollection of what she had done to me, but no I remember. I wish I could forget, but that scar runs deep with keloid formation some more. The thing is, it wasn't only me who remember that, those nurses too, and I feel really degraded when all they could remember of me was that stupid event.
I wish I could be the bigger person, forgive and forget, but I'm just me. I couldn't forget. I tried to be nice to her, but seeing her face made my blood boil with anger, vengeance, or whatever feeling I don't know but it's not nice and if I'm not careful I might explode in front of her (I wasn't alien to explosions, I really need an effective anger management course). I guess I will continue ignoring her after this.
Random pic. Was filling up something and found this..I just realise I was deanlisted in my first year! All those years cursing how stupid I was, feeling inferior..haih, need to console myself, I was doing OK all these while. *self pat*
It's a known fact that I am definitely not the nicest person on Earth, I mean well most of the time in my heart, but I am always on guard and I think and judge hard before I act. I can count on my fingers how many people (excluding the 7 members of my family) who had break the ice wall surrounding me. I am not proud of it, in fact I tried hard to act natural, be nice, be graceful, warm and smiley, but it was so tiring and suffocating and awkward and resulted in many many disasters ironically.
First posting housemanship, late 2013-first q of 2014
I was in charge of 10-12 patients alone that day as usual. I came to work around 6am as usual, finished my round, then the MO round, then the specialist round. Settled some urgent ward works then of course I had to go to clinic as usual (daily) despite the many many many other housemen there. Of course, if I didn't go, some MO would call the ward and ask for me personally to be there. By ask, I mean, shout and scream curses why I wasn't there in the first place.
No I didn't eat breakfast that time, I almost never breakfast before work because super early breakfast made me queasy. And after clinic I had to rush to ward to settle my ward works, the bloody debriding/desloughing/complicated dressing/blood works etc, no time for food either. (I lost 10kg in 4 months living like that.)
In that stupid department ran by moronic MOs, they moron required stupid booking form whenever they had to book case to OT. Waste of time, space, papers, inks honestly but morons like them don't see that. The stupid point of that stupid form is that, with that stupid form, they could book the case directly without the need to flip the folder. Their hands were probably too precious to flip the folder I guess, or maybe selective temporary radial/ulnar/median nerve palsy. The form was only 1 page, contained details of patient, underlying problems with their current medications, diagnosis, their planned operation. Basic details that normal functioning competent MO (like me, when I grew up and posted cases everyday in O&G) would know if they do rounds properly and communicate and examine the patients.
Being the slavelike HO, I filled up the form as requested. Then came this woman (MO) and requested the booking form of 1 of my patients to book the case. She wasn't in charge of my cube but she had to book the case because the MO in charge passed the shit to her.
She took it, then she called anest. I wasn't sure what shit she sold to the anest, but the next moment was probably the most humiliating moment in my life. She shouted "who filled up this form?", followed by some bad words which I managed to forget now.
She shouted so loud the whole ward was stunned. I was stunned. Despite my constant disapproving of the way how that moronic department was run, I always did my job properly. I did screw up here and then, but I always own up to them, fix them and never cause any morbidity or such. When she shouted like a banshee in second stage of labour, I became anxious, thinking what did I do wrong?
Turned out that woman was angry because I didn't write that patient was previously on OHA and the types of OHA he was on. By previously, I mean years ago. I didn't write because there was not enough space on that stupid form, and I couldn't see the relevance of it. Until now I couldn't understand why she had to shout like that to me when I technically didn't do anything wrong. Why on earth you want to know the OHA medication history of a diabetic patient who was on insulin for at least the past 2 years when he's currently having diabetic foot requiring surgery? Enlighten me for god sake.
I was shouted at many many times in my career but I could always justify all of them, except this one.
July 2017
I went to Hospimart, then a bunch of nurses from that hellish ward recognised me and greeted me. Then 1 of the nurses introduced me to her friends as the HO who was being shouted at by that woman. WTF right?? I mean, I wasn't stellar in that stupid department of course, I wasn't nice, but I certainly wasn't that bad. I was always the only one who had to round with the HOD, present cases to him, answering his questions (people avoid him for some reasons) because other HOs pretended they were busy and didn't notice him and MOs came later than him. As a first poster with almost zero knowledge in that dept, I took pride in myself with that fact.
Today
That woman came to my office requesting for a pm draft, she had to do the report. Then she greeted me in friendly way. Luckily my friend (we were both HO at the same time in that stupid dept) was with me, so he served that woman. That woman still talked to me somehow, asking whether I'm pregnant because I was at the sink (she thought I was vomiting, nope, just nasal douching). I ignored her. However my friend couldn't find the folder needed so he tried to call record office. I figured that'd mean that woman will stay longer in my office, so I went and searched and got the file needed and gave it to her in less than 5 minutes. I then continued ignoring her, grabbed my phone and ipad and continued reading in the other office.
She obviously had no recollection of what she had done to me, but no I remember. I wish I could forget, but that scar runs deep with keloid formation some more. The thing is, it wasn't only me who remember that, those nurses too, and I feel really degraded when all they could remember of me was that stupid event.
I wish I could be the bigger person, forgive and forget, but I'm just me. I couldn't forget. I tried to be nice to her, but seeing her face made my blood boil with anger, vengeance, or whatever feeling I don't know but it's not nice and if I'm not careful I might explode in front of her (I wasn't alien to explosions, I really need an effective anger management course). I guess I will continue ignoring her after this.
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