She has grown..

I scolded lil La, for playing those stupid fb apps. i wont do that if she played normal games, but she took that lucky apps, of which i think, is below stupid. and she heated up, and shrugged a cold choulder over me. not literally, but i sort of feel that.

and i got so upset over this matter. i'm not upset because she's sulking (which i can easily coax with moolah), but on how she transforms into a complete rubbish. yes, only rubbish, trash play apps like that. what a shame, because she has bright potential. playing stupid apps like, simply reflects her personality. and yes, i do have eyes for people, and that eyes are good and true.

my heart crushes more when she said she's tension with her studies. fart! what a 12-yrs knows about tension studying? i know we always hate school, but to tension, its a different matter. worse, for god sake she's only 12. what lies ahead are far more terrifyng.

i dont know if my parents notice her changes, but for me its obvious. maybe because of the distance, or maybe she's faking angel in front of them. she changes so much.

i thought, all the fights we(our sibs) had with her were just the normal fights, but now i think its more because of her uncontrollable temper. not the 'fun' fights we have  because we're bored.

yes, she has it all easy. rotten spoilt brat. in my times, my bro and i played at wreck playground, full with kemuncut and ulat bulu. sometimes we played basket, but with space restraint, we can only do 3-on-3. and enjoyed them bloody much, without noticing that we missed our curfew. and that magic wand brandishing our butt indirectly included in our routine.

compared to her, she's a good girl. she always does whatever my mum asks, but you know, my mum doesnt really command her as much as our times. but still, shes a good girl, she takes care of my parents. she ensures my mum takes her diabetic pills( speak like i dont know what drug is that, huh) regularly. she doesnt play outside, mainly because my parents worry sick over her safety. plus, nobody plays at that playgorund anymore. how time passes.. she does play anyway, but the way the city girl plays. she plays tennis, she plays badminton in indoor court, she's fencing, bowling. she even attends the different school from all of us, she attends the so-called elite school ( because my mum transferred there). so, her clique of course, differ too.

she always get whatever she wants, because basically she doesnt ask much. because she already had them. and she sleeps in air-cond room since she was born. so, how can i compare her with myself.. were siblings, yes, but with very different upbringing.

i dont know.. maybe i just miss the lil la i always had. cuddly and cute. not the lady la. a rubbish in my eyes i wish i can just wipe.

last time i got home, mama did complain a lil bit about her. she shouted at her teacher. quite rude, aite.. mum scolded her after that, somehow. but to think, none of us ever did rude things like that before. we did stupid things, but we are not rude. we all share the same bad temper, (maybe acik doesnt), we fight, we hit others, but we really respect our teachers. but she..

i am more worry on her future. you know how malaysian teens nowadays behave. with that pig-head of hers, the image of a slut in the dark street can possibly be my own sister. nauzubillah. but seriously, i'm scared. what if she's the rotten one..

my parents are getting old, so they dont really like to get angry over small things. i really worry if they are somehow, too lenient on lil La. i hope they can keep lil La a good girl for only 3 years more, because after that, i'll show her my tyrant for good. i cant have a trash as my sister.

in a way, somehow, i think i'm overreacting. as much as i hate snob, i think in her eyes, i'm much a snob myself. but whatever, i do this for her own good. i'll block her account tomorrow.